Ditty Box

A ditty box is a small bag or box in which a sailor kept his small tools, items for sewing such as needles and thread, minor equipment, writing materials and those special personal articles. The name may derive from nautical slang. According to John Rogers in “Origins of Sea Terms: A modern glossary of seagoing terminology” the bags or boxes were an essential part of the sailor's sea-going wardrobe.

Here is a potpourri of hopefully interesting items. Pieces about the Navy, sailors’ yarns being the stories and experiences they would chat about with their shipmates, of titbits picked up here and there, anecdotal “stuff”, other things noted seen or read.

This page should always be regarded as “work in progress”.


SEAMEN'S PHRASES & NAVAL LANGUAGE:

The English language has over centuries become littered with seamen's  and naval words and phrases which are now in common usage with the average user having no idea as to their origin. Here are just a few examples:

➢ “A square meal” – Sailors in the days of sail in Nelson’s navy, each had their own individual 
      “platter”, it being a square piece of wood on which to have their meals.

➢ "Bosn's Locker" - broom closet

➢ "Brow" - Entrance to the ship

➢ "Buffer" or "The Buffer" - Chief Boatswain (pronounced "Bosun")

➢ "Bulkhead" - Wall

➢ “Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey” or “It’s brass monkey weather” -  
      Cannonballs used to be stored aboard warships in piles, on a brass frame or tray called a
      "monkey". In very cold weather the brass would contract, spilling the cannonballs: hence very
      cold  weather is "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".

➢ "Crusher" - Regulating Petty Officer (A ship's policeman)

➢ "CO's Cabin" - Commanding Officer's cabin

➢ "Davy Jones' locker" - Sea bed

➢ "Deck" - Floor

➢ "Deck-head" - Ceiling

➢ "Duff" - Dessert

➢ "Galley" - Kitchen

➢ "Gash" - Garbage

➢ "Hatch" - Door in the deck

➢ "Jimmy" or "Number One" - Ship's Executive Officer

➢ "Kye" - Hot chocolate

➢ "Navy Gravy" - Ketchup

➢ "Porthole" - Window

➢ "Scrambled eggs" - The gold oak leaves on a senior officers cap.

➢ "Scran" - Food

➢ “Shove off” - to push away from.

➢ "Stand easy" -  take a break

➢ "Stores" - Supplies

For a much more extensive listing I suggest you go to the following site dedicated to such words and phrases:
              http://www.navy.mil/navydata/traditions/html/navyterm.html

ROYAL NAVY SIGNALS

Probably the best known signal ever made in the Royal Navy was that made by Admiral Lord Nelson to his fleet at the commencement of the Battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805, it was “England expects that every man will do his duty” (Ibid – Bibliography “Trafalgar, The Men, The Battle, The Storm”, P149). They did and the combined French and Spanish fleets were strategically annihilated.

The Royal Navy of the Napoleonic era served under the most draconian discipline legislation to the inclusion of extremely barbaric sentences of physical punishment that one could imagine; a ship’s Captain literally held the sentence of death in his hands in dispensing justice to his crew as he thought fit.

If one were to allow a humourist a rewrite of that signal under today’s liberal social attitudes compounded by Health & Safety at Work legislation and anti-discrimination statutes, then add some imaginative licence the resulting scenario would be at the very least surprising. Read on:-

NELSON AT TRAFALGAR 2012
A Present Day Humourist's View 

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, this isn't that I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): “England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability. What gobbledygook is this for God's sake?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting "England" past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It’s part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest, please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of Admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt, haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir.  The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's Diversity Co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me, Health and Safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case................... Kiss me, Hardy."